37 weeks

its 2a.m in the morning and i cant sleep. not beecause im not sleepy, which I am.  (mulut menguap continuosly, mata pun dah berair) but literally cannot sleep. mengah nafas, back aches, tummy pun pedih skit lower part, bladder playing games of kejap rase nak kencing, once pegi toilet, feeling tu hilang...

i know i shouldnt complain. this is minor compared to the early months of morning sickness ( ooh, sgt miserable time itu okay!) but this aches and discomfort will not be missed once baby arrives. on that note, in all honesty, the only part of pregnancy that I enjoy is feeling baby move/kick/golek in the tummy and the bond i feel with baby. Parts lain, i can do without. Nak kata its been a learning experience, obviously, but its a lesson yang I'd rather learn thru experience orang lain. Merapatkan hubungan dengan the hubster, to a certain degree,...yes tapi it also made me realise a few things that I dont like about him (he WASNT as helpful as I expected him to be and being absent during the last 3 months ni lagi la tidak mengendear him in my eyes la kan). Oh, but it did make me realise how precious a mother's love is. Seriously, Mak has been my biggest supporter, caregiver, nurturer, tak cukup words lah to describe what she's done for me during husband's absence. So dear husband, once you balik, tak payah la nak bagi alasan nak cover tido or nak rest extra, what you should and shall be doing is making it up to me and proving to my family that you are worthy of being my husband. that would mean, shopping trips, makan sessions and loads of foot rubs. and no skipping out of my check ups at KK.

oh, back to main reason for this blog. At 37 weeks, baby seems to be doing fine. still moving and squirming. Got occasional super active movements, not as often these days. Poor baby, running out of space kot. Takpe sayang, once you come out, golek la puas-puas atas katil mommy k. Love you so much. I do hope husband comes home soon. Selfish reason is so he can take care of me selepas mengelat for past three months. But selain tu, I really hope he sempat tengok and feel baby's movement. Its such an amazing, life changing, calming experience that I do not want him to miss. Oh, and he better be around for the birth. Im starting to feel the fear. Words like CONTRACTIONS, PAIN, EPIDURAL, KOYAK, JAHIT seems permanently etched on my mind....

Perlukan distraction...maybe I should sneak down to the kitchen for a few bites of Baskins...