The one on the buaian

The thing about Hannah B is that she was born a crier. Natural Born Crier. Yes, from day 1 she has amazed (or is it scared us sleepless???) us with her ability to cry very loudly, in a high pitched tone too! The kind of crying that tugs at your heartstrings coz she sounds so sad or as if she's in pain when in reality, there is no reason or explanation for her crying. Maybe its just her way totell us that she needs (more of) our attention. Well, when the mom is a drama queen, its not that surprising that her lil princess would be an attention seeking baby diva kan.

Many have given unwanted but well-intentioned advise of buying her a buai. It'll make it easier to put her to sleep and she'll sleep longer. On the downside, usage of buai can cause a baby to refuse to sleep without it, causing hassle when the family is travelling or away from home. For 2 and a a half months, we have resisted taking the easy way out. Biarlah, having to put up with hours of rocking, cradling sleepless nights. I did not want my daughter to sleep a buaian. Another part of me feels like its bad parenting. Like Im too tired/busy to spend time putting my child to sleep. Let her lie in the monstrous looking thing until she falls asleep.Admittedly, another reason for my extreme dislike of the buaian is the fact that it is so hugely ugly, My feelings would probably change if a cute design was ever made.

About 2 weeks ago, we visited a relative of the Husband so that I could get my swollen wrist massaged by his uncle. Its been bugging me for months, during pregnancy lagi. While waiting, they suggested to put Hannah B into the buaian as mommy's lil angel decides to show her 'talent' right there. Bayangkan okay, she was super sweet the whole journey, and just as we reach the Pakcik's house, she started crying(screaming?) at the top of her lungs.  Not to be thought of as rude or stubborn, I relented. Hannah B had her first buaian nap, and true to word, she slept for over 3 hours. peaceful deep sleep.

Once we got home, the husband said, we should get a buaian. We're about to start working and we need the rest and sleep. Lagipun, the lady who will be taking care of her also requested that we provide a buaian for her. I was very reluctant. But 2 more nights of difficult night sleeping got us to Manjaku where our initial ;surveying' trip resulted in us coming home with a buai for my baby angel.

But til now, she resists being in it, which somehow comforts me. She'll only agree to be put in the buai once we've put her in a state of half sleep. where the eyes or barely open and she has been cradled/rocked for quite some time. I love the fact that she prefers falling to sleep in my arms rather than that mostrous steel thingy, just like she prefers direct feeding as compared to EBM in a bottle. Maybe its just me, needing to feel needed by her. Hannah B, if you only know how much mommy loves you.

admittedly, she sleeps much better in the buaian and we only use it if and when she refuses to sleep on the bed with us. Usually she sleeps in the buaian, wakes up around 4am for feeding and continues sleeping in the bed til morning

p/s - as part of my buaian protest, I refuse to use the thing, resulting in the husband taking on the putting her to sleep duty.

Day 75

Am typing in the dark, while putting Hannah B to sleep.A feeling so heavenly, watching your child go from sleepy faced to sound asleep.From cranky restlessness to peaceful sighs. She sighs a lot while asleep. As if she'x crrying the burdens of the world when in reality the only concern she should have is when will i get my next meal or will mommy force me to sleep in the buai again???

Back to her developments, no significant changes in the past week. She still is showing off her raising the head skills  and she's conversing more too. Mostly its tngue language with her dad which she gets very excited about. feeling left out from this father-daughter bonding,, I decided to create my own special language, which mainly consists of making brrrrbrrr sounds with my lips. Hannah B tries to imitate, but up til now she's only succeeded in spewing out more saliva bubbles... I just hope she doesnt mistake the sounds for encouragement to be a Belieber! No justin bieber crushes please...

Day 67

Yesterday, she surprised us with her first partial rollover, (she was on her tummy, she lifted her head, and while  looking at me, she tilted her head, and...turned. Such a moment, Im so proud of her tiny steps of developments. I wish I could document every moment of her life.

Today, when feeding from the bottle (EBM - 3 oz per feeding), she actually knew when to stop. She just stopped sucking, looked at me and pushed the bottle away with her hand. And I noticed that she can anticipate when its feeding time. If I put her in my lap, she gets excited and will tilt her head towards my boob.

Hannah B was in good spirits today. Lots of thoughtful stares, lots of head lifting.  As a reward for her good behaviour, and maybe to cure our own boredom, we took her on her first park visit. She started of very excited, staring at the green trees. She spit out milk twice, got milk on my hijab and shirt, got irritated after 20 minutes and we ended up running back to the car when it started to rain. Oh, by that time, she was screaming her lungs out. And again, her loud cries got a lot of attention from passer-bys. Im starting to get really annoyed with their ' what bad parents you are coz your baby is crying'. I wish I could tell them that she's not always this scary. Anyway, its what babies do, they cry. Hannah B just takes it to the next level with her super high pitched, attention grabbing voice.  Just as we reached the car, the crying stopped, she gave me a sigh and started nudging towards my breast. she slept the whole way back home.